Tag Archives: loneliness

poetry

NEVER TRULY GONE – A Poem For Widows

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Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) spoke of having a kindred spirit. Someone you share a meaningful connection with. You don’t have to come from the same beginnings, or even have similar life events, but something draws you together. It can be an event or circumstance, or it can be two people who have similar values or interests that connect you in such a way, it almost feels as if you are the same person.

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

Sometimes, you meet someone who changes your life in the best way. Someone you talk to and you feel like you’ve known your whole life, even though you’ve barely met. You can feel what they are feeling even though you’ve never gone through the things they have. It’s almost as if your spirits really do connect.

There was a time I came across someone that lost her husband; I tried to put into words what she must be going through. A long time has passed since his death, but there are days those wounds still feel fresh. I wanted her to know that she is seen, that her feelings are valid no matter how much time has passed, and also, to share these words to hopefully help someone else who is going through the same loss. Dealing with those impossible feelings that eat at the soul and don’t allow you to come up for air. Maybe, for a moment, you feel less alone.

So, on International Widow’s Day, may you have a little more grace shown, a little more kindness, a little more patience and a friend who never gets tired of the waves of emotions life has thrown at you. I can only hope to be that kind of friend to someone who needs a little extra love in their life.

Related Poems: Daddy’s Girl (Loss of dad for Daughter)

Never Truly Gone
I never imagined our time would come to an abrupt end
Some days it really hurts and others I think I’m on the mend.
I only feel okay because I’ve forgotten that it’s real
It comes in huge waves and I haven’t learned how to heal.
Sometimes it feels like the world is moving too fast
While others have moved on, I cannot get past.
My former life was happy, what will a new normal be?
How can I move forward without you here with me?
Everyone is staring, their eyes pierce my soul
Can they see right through? Know that I’m not whole?
When someone offers help are they really being true?
Or just being polite because they don’t know what to do?
Some days that I wake, I wish that I had not
I might never be ready to give love another shot.
This pain is too much to bear, will it ever be less?
Will I pull my life together and not feel like such a mess?
How long is too long to avoid social scenes?
No one understands what losing you means.
Plans for our future were over before they truly began
You were not just a kind person, you were the BEST man.
Some days I think I’m fine, then I break down and cry
I’m still trying to process the ‘how?’ and the ‘why?’
They say “time heals all wounds” and maybe one day I’ll be fine
But I’ll never forget that you loved me and that you used to be mine.
So for you I’ll keep going and I’ll find a way to be strong
No matter how much time passes, in my heart you’ll always belong.
One day the pain will be manageable, I’ll be able to laugh and smile
It doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten, you’re in my thoughts all the while.
I might even believe that grin painted across my face
If I find love again, know you’ll never be replaced.
I know you’d want me to be happy, to find true bliss
I’ll make new memories for all the ones we’ll miss.
For you, I’ll embrace my new life and live without a care
For daylight always comes, after a nightmare.

~ Jennifer R.W. Vargas

poetry

The Shadow

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The Shadow
It’s always there behind you, even when you don’t know it
It can never leave you, but of it you often forget.
When the sun is shining, it is brightly cast
When the night draws near, it will no longer last.
Sometimes it creeps up on you; it is as dark as the night
But somehow it is only visible when you are in the light.
It can never fully leave you, just sometimes disappear
It’s the only thing you know will always be here.
Desperately you’re fleeing, it cannot show
But it will never leave; it will follow where you go.
It follows in your footsteps it goes where you lead
Something you figure you can live without, you don’t know you need.
Always so predictable, yet you long for its return
Following close behind, of yourself you learn.
Figures form of a similar face
You quicken your step, it follows each pace.
What is this thing which you try to outrun?
Why does it follow you, only come out in the sun?
This shadow you lose never fades away
Yet you only remember it on a sunny day.
That sun you see is your happy smile
When dark days come it is there all the while.
The dark seems unbearable, you are not alone
For that light in the shadow is waiting to be shown.
Though often you forget, it will always remain
Following your footsteps, calling out your name.
 
~ Jennifer R. W. Vargas
 
                                                                           July 27, 2005

For Christine C. hoping for brighter days ahead. Age 17.

poetry

Blinded by Darkness

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Blinded by Darkness
I found this dark place, it’s not friendly there
Everyday there is hurt, pain, and no one to care.
In this place with no light, I have not a friend
Not one with happy moments I can spend.
I see glimpses of the light, but they flicker away
They get me all excited and then lead me astray.
In this place of darkness, where light does not enter
I have a bleeding heart, stuck with a splinter.
I know you don’t care, that’s what makes this pain so
The yearning for a friend makes it continue to grow.
There is love in my life but when so many don’t bother
It’s hard to see love when it lacks from mother and father.
In darkness it’s hard to see those of you that love
In my weakness I can only turn to my Father above.
It’s hard to express what I’m feeling inside
Like the waves won’t continue being a part of the tide.
Yet it is a part of nature, bound to occur
Yet why every time the waves form am I still unsure?
I’m at a loss for the words that still need to be said
So I am left here with only quiet tears to shed.
It’s not easy no one ever said it would be
Yet why is it so hard, out of the darkness to see?
Why is my vision blurry, why am I so blind
Why is there constant confusion running through my mind?
Will I ever again be able to see the light
Or will I just learn to walk without sight?

~ Jennifer R. W. Vargas

July 14, 2005

Age 17

poetry

A Whispered Name

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A Whispered Name
A name whispered throughout the wind longing to be heard,
A voice endeavoring to be found yet proclaimed with every word.
A faint prayer muttered along with the pandemonium of countless others,
The vanished voice struggles to discover, when it will be accompanied with another’s.
To be heard but not seen, to listen but to not have a clear conception,
To seek for the implementation of the precise answers and not having that perception.
To be lost in the blustery weather and not know which ending leads to where,
Feeling so alone and having not a soul with whom to be able to share.
 A call wailed throughout the systematic changes of the vast land,
And heard only by the Father who holds all the world in one hand.
Searching and seeking but never confident with what is discovered,
Wounded and scarred but never time enough to be recovered.
The world hears a cry but it never stops to take heed,
That maybe, possibly, another life could be in need.
That whispered name that went unnoticed has now been heard and spoken,
That voice that wanted to be found has now been awoken.
That prayer that was faint didn’t go unnoted,
That call that was cried was never demoted.
Those that were lost are no longer fighting in the darkness of the unjust,
Those that are alone have found someone who they can trust.
The darkness is no longer dark but has been brought into the light,
Those that couldn’t see by faith have been given sight.
To not only hear but to see and to have heard and have knowledge about,
All the great plans the Lord has for those who do not doubt.
So by faith one is saved and still another can see by that testimony of assurance,
And that by chance meeting has been finalized as a planned concurrence.
So whenever a name is whispered, it never goes unheard,
And God never fails to answer or hear every uttered word.
 
~ Jennifer R. W. Vargas

June 8, 2003

Age 15