Living

Don’t Let Relationships Erase You

I read a really good post recently. So good, that I wish I could just copy and paste the whole thing here because it’s so relevant. Take the time to check it out. It talks about missing someone and not necessarily wanting them to be back in your life.

I’m not quite at that point in my journey, I’d still want them back in my life… There’s a silver lining to the article, or something to look forward to. It talks about wanting the good times again; “Think about it: this doesn’t have to happen with the same person. The history and the feelings can be replicated in part with another person now.

That’s a beautiful sentiment. Knowing that those feelings and emotions you had are not in fact gone forever just because that relationship ended, but rather you will experience them again with someone else. For me, that’s been such a hard part of all this. Mourning the beautiful and endless possibilities of what that relationship could have brought to my life. All the happy moments it did bring to me, along with the inspiration and creativity.

I wrote more poems inspired by this person in the last few months than I have in the last few years. I’m not sure why. It’s ironic how some people can inspire you and others don’t. One of the poems I wrote, I know would have had a great impact on them. I never had the chance to give it, but it was not written in vain. I was able to share it with someone who recently experienced the same thing and it’s been a great source of comfort to them. In a way, maybe I had to meet this other person, in order to be a comfort to someone else.

Life is like that. You meet someone who influences you, changes your life. It can be in a small way, it could be someone you meet once, but you never forget. Moving forward, I would like to challenge myself to only think about the good moments and try not to think about the way things ended. Not forget why, as I will always carry that with me moving forward and apply it to future relationships.

I was listening to a song the other day and it said “people like me are gone forever, when you say goodbye.” That can be so true. I know in previous friendships I’ve had, I’ve been so hurt. I’ve cried, I’ve felt lousy about myself… and some of those people are still in my life to a degree, but a very distant one. You know… the ones you wish happy birthday to on facebook and occasionally comment on their posts.

In order to get to a place of not being hurt anymore, I had to go through a period of shutting them out completely. I had to feel all the feelings and then get to a place where they could no longer hurt me, but also a place where I still wanted them to be happy and well. One person I run into now and again and they’ve mentioned getting together a couple of times. It’s funny, back in the day that would excite me to no end. However, now I don’t even get my hopes up because I know it’s not going to happen. It’s a good thing though, that I’m not upset by this. I kind of just laugh about it… like ok… sure we’ll get together.

I’ve had to stop comparing myself to their other friendships. Stop questioning why they grew close to someone younger than me, if maybe I thought age was a factor or whatever the case may be.

I’ve told myself for half my life already that people are in my life for a reason, and sometimes only for a season. That’s always been hard for me as I’m someone who loves deeply and doesn’t like to let people go.

The good thing is, when we let those people go, we are able to open ourselves up to new relationships, with people who don’t want to erase us from their memories but create new ones.

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