Tag Archives: sadness

Try to Be Kind to Yourself

There comes a time in life when you meet someone so magnetic
Someone who brings such joy, your face hurts from smiling.
A person that somehow makes you feel safe, special and loved
By just EXISTING.
A person who doesn’t see their worth. But means everything to you.
Who’s smile could light up a room, even when they’re feeling DARK.
Someone you love with your whole heart and you try
NOT TO OVERWHELM.
Then you do something to mess it all up.
To get yourself cut out of their life.
Then they erase you.
Like you never even existed.
You don’t want to exist.
You are INVISIBLE.
You must be strong, but it’s hard.
So HARD.
You cannot stop crying.
You never imagined it would come to this.
How could you be so reckless?
So careless?
The positive self-talk doesn’t help
Yet you TRY.
To believe in the words you are saying.
You are worthy of being loved.
Not everyone you love will feel the same.
Not everyone will understand you.
You are broken but you are not
BEYOND REPAIR.
You may never have their love
And that’s OKAY.
It does not mean you do not deserve love
It will take you a while to believe this.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Not everyone will accept you
THAT’S OKAY
As much as it hurts, you will HEAL.
Believe you are not beyond love
Show yourself GRACE.
It WILL get better.

The Shadow

The Shadow
It’s always there behind you, even when you don’t know it
It can never leave you, but of it you often forget.
When the sun is shining, it is brightly cast
When the night draws near, it will no longer last.
Sometimes it creeps up on you; it is as dark as the night
But somehow it is only visible when you are in the light.
It can never fully leave you, just sometimes disappear
It’s the only thing you know will always be here.
Desperately you’re fleeing, it cannot show
But it will never leave; it will follow where you go.
It follows in your footsteps it goes where you lead
Something you figure you can live without, you don’t know you need.
Always so predictable, yet you long for its return
Following close behind, of yourself you learn.
Figures form of a similar face
You quicken your step, it follows each pace.
What is this thing which you try to outrun?
Why does it follow you, only come out in the sun?
This shadow you lose never fades away
Yet you only remember it on a sunny day.
That sun you see is your happy smile
When dark days come it is there all the while.
The dark seems unbearable, you are not alone
For that light in the shadow is waiting to be shown.
Though often you forget, it will always remain
Following your footsteps, calling out your name.
 
~ Jennifer R. W. Vargas
 
                                                                           July 27, 2005

For Christine C. hoping for brighter days ahead. Age 17.

Blinded by Darkness

Blinded by Darkness
I found this dark place, it’s not friendly there
Everyday there is hurt, pain, and no one to care.
In this place with no light, I have not a friend
Not one with happy moments I can spend.
I see glimpses of the light, but they flicker away
They get me all excited and then lead me astray.
In this place of darkness, where light does not enter
I have a bleeding heart, stuck with a splinter.
I know you don’t care, that’s what makes this pain so
The yearning for a friend makes it continue to grow.
There is love in my life but when so many don’t bother
It’s hard to see love when it lacks from mother and father.
In darkness it’s hard to see those of you that love
In my weakness I can only turn to my Father above.
It’s hard to express what I’m feeling inside
Like the waves won’t continue being a part of the tide.
Yet it is a part of nature, bound to occur
Yet why every time the waves form am I still unsure?
I’m at a loss for the words that still need to be said
So I am left here with only quiet tears to shed.
It’s not easy no one ever said it would be
Yet why is it so hard, out of the darkness to see?
Why is my vision blurry, why am I so blind
Why is there constant confusion running through my mind?
Will I ever again be able to see the light
Or will I just learn to walk without sight?

~ Jennifer R. W. Vargas

July 14, 2005

Age 17