When I was in Junior High, I began writing poetry. I signed up to take it as an elective and after that I started writing all the time. I would give poems to people I loved on holidays, birthdays, important events. Along with journaling daily, it was a way to express myself in a more creative way.
Someone I care about recently told me that I should put all my poems in a book for others to read and be inspired by. Some of my poems from that time are very reflective of an adolescent. Looking back and reading now I see more of what the grown ups I confided in were maybe worried about. I never really felt like I was depressed, but I was a melancholy girl.
I think we all have a deep desire to be loved on a deeper level and even though I had people in my life that did love me, still something felt like it was missing. Maybe because my family was never whole, that brokenness just crept in. I wanted to feel safe and loved. I got a lot of that through my faith in God and those in my life I looked up to as mentors.
I wanted so badly to be loved by them, to be seen on an equal level. Not just to open up to them, but to have them open up to me. I know that’s pretty unrealistic to expect an adult to open up to a young girl about things they are going through, that’s probably the irrational part of being a teenager. It’s a common desire though, and not something friends my age could give or really understand. Having that acceptance and love from someone older, someone I respected, cared for, and valued their opinion. Maybe it was because it wasn’t reinforced at home. Maybe it’s just a part of my nature.
Still today, I find myself with friendships with those who are still 10+ years older than I am. Maybe I’ve always been more of an “old soul.” Maybe we are all still searching and looking for that acceptance and validation from someone. To be proud of us, to love us, to make us feel safe.
Anyway, I wanted to start my collection of poetry online. I have at least 200, most of which were written 15-20 years ago. They might be helpful for people of all ages and maybe even teenagers. Maybe they can feel less alone, that someone understands. That even though this time is scary, you can come out the other side. You can grow, you can change. Some parts of you never will, but hold on to what makes you you. Someone will love that part of you that you hate about yourself. Even your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength. Have faith that you matter to someone more than you know. That someone can’t picture their life without you. Even when you don’t feel like you’re special, that you do anything truly meaningful, there is someone out there who is exited you exist.
I think a big part of growing up was hard in the sense, the friendships I wanted were never realistic. I never fit in with my age group and I was too young for those I wanted to fit in with. Some of that doesn’t go away. I think to this day, I wouldn’t say I even fit in with people my age. I’m just my own person and people are either going to accept that or they aren’t. Hold on tight to the people that do. They will be the strength you need to get you through each day.
This is a collection of poems I wrote for others, myself, God, mentors and others. I will try to give insight into who or what each poem is about. Not every one, if it’s too personal and I never gave it to them. I won’t share every poem, but there will be ones for all different emotions.
Hopefully there is something for everyone. You’ll find a list of poems below as updated. Eventually, maybe they will be divided by topic. For now, enjoy as I post and more will be added as time permits:
Poems by Title:
- A Day for Everything (Feb 2020)- Valentine’s Day
- All the Reasons I Love You (April 2003)- Friendship
- An End Marks a Beginning (2005)- Graduating High School
- A Song from the Heart (July 2005)
- A Whispered Name (June 2003)
- A Wonderful Place (March 2005)- Heaven/Friendship
- A Worthy Life (Nov. 2002)- Jesus/Christianity
- Blinded by Darkness (July 2005)
- Child of Faith (2002)- Christianity
- Count Your Blessings (Nov. 2001) – Thanksgiving
- For All or Nothing (Feb 2003)
- Friendship’s Growth (July 2014) – Friendship
- Keep Holding On (May 2009)- Strength/Friendship
- Keep Your Heart Open (May 2020)- Broken Relationship
- Love’s Perfect Mold (Feb 2009)- Friendship
- Math Poem (Nov. 2004)
- No Greater Treasure (Nov. 2016)- Friendship
- Super Saturday (Jan. 2017)- Taylor Swift Concert
- The Essence of a Nurse (Nov. 2016)
- The Power of Influence (June 2005)- For all my teachers
- The Shadow (July 2005)
- The Strength of the Bannenite (July 2016)- A strong woman
- Things Unwanted (August 2002) – Disappointment
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